Wednesday, April 3, 2013

While giving feedback avoid the word "but"

While giving feedback, there is an element of improvement most of the time. We all end up using the dreaded "but", after our positive appraisal. I have found this water down the  feeling authenticity of my positive feedback as well as dampens the sense of jubilation the recipient may have for a job well done.

This commenter puts it nicely and says a better way to reword it. A slight language change can have a wonderful effect:
One of the things I learned when giving feedback to somebody (and this was actually during a Toastmasters meeting), is that one should never give positive feedback followed by the word ‘but’. As implied in this article, the word ‘but’ brings on a very negative feeling and the recipient of that feedback may turn off as soon as this word is heard. All of the positive things that were said before the word ‘but’ would be forgotten as well. It’s much better to continue the feedback with “and here’s some great opportunities for development…”.
Emphasis and links added to Clint Cora's comment on the post "The Word is… ‘Unstucking’: How changing your words can get your brain moving again…".

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